HisanaMy story
by Linali-chan
Summary: Hisana retelling her life, up until she dies.....again. Major Spoilers in later chapters, you have been warned! Byakuya x Hisana Update- Discontinued!


_**Hisana- My story**_

Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN BLEACH!! Linali-chan Aug, 1 2007 (start)

Hello, I am Hisana, just Hisana. I have forgotten my last name a long time ago. I am here to tell you about my life. My life as a child, a daughter, as a sister, as a teenager, as a thief, as a Rugiko citizen, as a horrible person who abandoned their very own sister, as a friend, as a student, as a shinigami, as the wife of Kuchiki Byakuya, as a Kuchiki, as a woman, as a dying person. This is my story, right from the day I was born to the day where I take in my very last breath. This story is about me, Hisana, and me Kuchiki Hisana. So, let's start, where all stories start, at the very beginning.

I was born into a nice ordinary family; I had a father and a mother and soon a baby sister. I was eight and a half years old when Rukia was born. Yes, Rukia was the name of my baby sister. Everyone in my family loved her, but I think I loved her the most. She always wanted me to carry her, read to her, and sing her to sleep. In the house that I had lived in for about 12 years of my life, was in a calm and quite neighbourhood. It also had from my memory, a small park not far from it, maybe about a five minute walk. Well, one night all that happiness that we had one had was going to vanish just like that. Of course it was a normal evening, I was reading a fashion magazine sitting in the living room's rocking chair, slowly rocking back and forth, with baby Rukia in my arms; she was sleeping so peacefully. My father was reading the news paper by the fire place, sitting in his favourite arm chair. It was seven pm, and my mother had gone out to by some groceries. It was almost nine and she still hadn't come back, this was getting weird, and I could tell that father was getting worried too. I sighed and looked at Rukia, who was still sleeping. At about ten thirty at night, we got a call from the hospital. My father naturally picked up the phone and answered it. When he had found out about the news he quickly told me and then left towards the hospital. I sighed, so that was what had happen. My mother had been hit by a car when she was walking home from the grocery store; and she was in critical condition. I cried, I really tried my best not to, but after a bit, I just really couldn't hold them back anymore. I cried silently so that I wouldn't wake Rukia. I slowly got up from my sitting position, and put Rukia down in her crib, and then I went to wait by the door for my father to return. It was almost twelve pm, and my father still hadn't returned. I walked away from the door and picked up the phone and dialled up the hospital.

"Hello, you have reached the Hospital, what's the matter?" asked the receptionist on the other end. She must have heard my crying.

"Well, m…my mother is in the hospital with critical condition, and my father went to see her, and he hasn't come back yet, so I wondering if he's going to stay the night," I replied, my voice was shaky and I kept weeping.

"Oh, I'm so sorry my dear," the receptionist started "Yes, don't you worry, your father is staying here the night,"

"Thank you," I replied this time my voice wasn't so shaky

"You're welcome, dear," she answered in a mother like voice

After that I hung up. I walked to the dining room table and reached for a tissue from the tissue box. After I finished my crying moment, I walked to Rukia's room, and peeked in. She was sleeping.

"Good," I mumbled, as I closed the door and walked down the hall to my room. I turned on the light, everything was neat and in its place. I walked towards my bed, it was neatly made and then I turned to my book shelf, I picked up another fashion magazine and flipped through it, until I felt drowsy. I shook my head and closed the magazine, and turned out the light. I fell into my bed and pulled the covers up.

In the morning, father still wasn't home. I was getting worried. I fed Rukia and was rocking her back and fourth. After about twelve I saw our family car pull into the drive way. I smiled, father was finally home. I went and opened the door for him. I was shocked when I saw him, he was tiered looking and it seemed as if he hadn't gotten much sleep that night. My father pushed by me roughly, and proceeded to the dinning room. I followed him, and watched in horror as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"Father!" I screamed, "Don't!" I must have screamed pretty loud, because before I knew it, Rukia was stirring.

You're not the one to make my decisions!" he spat back. "You're mother is as good as dead,"

"What do you mean?" I yelled, trying to grab the pack of cigarettes away from him

"I mean, she doesn't have any memory of who I am anymore," he started, "She doesn't talk either, she just mumbles stuff that you can't understand. She's weak and she doesn't do anything, she doesn't eat, she barely sleeps. She just talks about something that sounds like another langue. No one can understand her and I think she's gone mad, you know CRAZY,"

I shook my head and tried to grab the box again. "She's not crazy!" I replied I was angry, I was mad at my father for giving up so easily, for not caring anymore, not trying, I just couldn't stand it!

I lunged at him and tore the cigarettes away from him. He looked at me and then got up from his sitting position.

"Now, you give that back!" I screamed, "GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT YOU BRAT!"

"NOOO!" I replied running with it to my room, Rukia still in my arms

"YOU'LL BE SORRY NOW!" my father answered running after me

I reached my room, and open the door, and flung myself inside and slammed the door behind me. I locked it and let Rukia down onto my bed. I pushed my two wooden chairs against the door, along with my bedside desk, some of my books, and my thick dictionary. Then I went back to my bed, and looked at Rukia, she was playing with on of my stuff animals that I had gotten for one of my birthdays. At least she was oblivious to the horrible disaster unfolding in front of us. I heard my father yelling from the hallway.

"GIVE IT TO ME YOU DAMN BRAT!" he swore, and came stomping down the hallway

This really wasn't my father that I knew. He rarely ever got angry and he never ever swore. He had never done something like this in front Rukia or me. Was this the after effect of mother and her madness? Had my father really gone mad? I thought so, because everything he did was so out of his nature, unless he had always been like this, and just tried to cover it up, for my mother. I looked around my room, darn, I thought I didn't have a phone in it. If I did, I would have like anyone else with a conmen sense, phoned the police. My father had reached my door now and was pounding on it. I had thrown the cigarettes out my window and they were somewhere outside. I gulped back my fear and cleared my dry, scared throat.

"I don't have it anymore, I threw it out the window!" I replied from behind the door

"YOU WHAT? I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT YOU KNOW!" he hollered back, I could hear his anger and rage

I didn't reply after that. I just clutched Rukia tighter, and sat there on my bed. I turned my head to the side and looked at my clock. It read three pm. After awhile, my father had finally given up on banging on my door. I sighed a sigh of relief, as I heard him walk away. I thought he was probably going to by another pack of cigarettes. I removed the stuff that had blockaded my door and just took a peek outside into the hallway. I didn't see my father anywhere, so I carefully walked down the narrow hallway. I walked into the kitchen, and grabbed some food for Rukia and I; I grabbed some cereal, water, bread, butter, apple juice, crackers, cheese, baby food, milk and some soup. After I had also grabbed bowls, spoons and cups, I ran back to my room, and re-barricaded my door. I put the food down and sat down on my bed. Rukia was now sleeping silently. I drank a cup of milk and ate/drank some soup. I heard the door slam, and footsteps, walking around in the house. Rukia was slowly waking from her sleep, and I decided to fed her some baby food. She ate it up happily, and then decided to play with my stuffies again. She really seemed fond of them. I then returned my attention to the footsteps stomping around outside, my door. I couldn't make it out if It was coming closer or if it was going away. I wanted to be brave, like a solider in a war, I didn't know why I wanted to be the heroine in this story, maybe I wanted to prove to Rukia, that I was brave, I didn't know. Rukia was already oblivious to this disaster, so why did I want to act like a hero? I shook my head, and stood up straight, just like a solider in training, I took a deep breath and un-barricaded my door, I took a silent step outside of my so called safety zone, and crept down the hallway. I peeked into the dinning room, I didn't see my father, I walked to the living room, I saw him sitting in his favourite chair, gazing outside at our cherry blossom tree, like my mother, I had always like it. My father seemed less in raged, so I was going to be brave again and risk talking to him.

"Hi, f…father," I stuttered

He didn't reply, he just kept starring at the single tree. I didn't know if I should ask him about my mother, but I decided that I had already been brave enough today. I turned to leave the room, but my father called me back.

"Hisana, stay," he commanded

"Okay," I replied, as I returned to the living room and sat down across from my father.

"Your mother…..she's in a coma,"

It took my brain what seemed like forever to process the information, but when it did go through, I didn't know what to think. My mother was in a coma, she wasn't dead, but she was going to play a game of life and death.

"Oh…" I finally replied sadness and sorrow was known in my voice

"That's all I have to say,"

"Thank-you," I answered as I walked away and back to my room. Rukia was sleeping again.

I picked up the food that I had gathered up, and walked with it back to the kitchen. I placed everything back in its place, and leaned into the living room, my father was still starring out blindly at the single cherry tree, and his facial expression was unreadable. I wanted to visit my mother, but if I did, I would have to leave Rukia at home. Of some reason, I just couldn't get myself to trust my very own father. After that outbreak, I have always been wearier around him. He had never ever swore before, even when he did get mad, I know that if it was my mother, she would have stopped him, she would have defended us. Maybe because I have always been defended, maybe that's why I wanted to see what it was like to be the hero for once. When I think about this, this really isn't heroic.

"Hisana, I'm going to go out for a bit," he started, "Take care of Rukia,"

"Where are you going?" I questioned, I didn't want my father going out to buy another pack of cigarettes.

"At work, I have a meeting today," his reply was quick and in monotone

"Oh….okay," I didn't dare push him any further for an answer

"I'll be back late, so don't worry,"

I nodded and then he got up from his spot, and walked towards the door. He opened and swiftly left. After about five minutes of just standing there, I heard Rukia crying. I quickly ran to her room. I opened the door, and walked in, she was crying in her crib.

"There, there, Rukia, don't cry, Hisana's here," I coaxed, picking her up from her crib, and cradling her in my arms. I sang a lullaby, and she went back to sleep. I smiled at least this was going to be okay. I decided that I wouldn't wait for my father this time, I was way to stressed with my mother and all; I really needed the sleep. When I woke the next morning, I didn't see my father anywhere, I looked around the whole house, I went to the backyard and front driveway, but I still didn't find him. I walked into the kitchen and looked up to see the large, bold, wooden clock hanging just above the stove. It read- 8:35am, I guessed that my father had already left for work. It was early and Rukia usually didn't wake until at least 9.

It was almost eight pm, and my father still hadn't come back, I kept trying to lie to myself that he was okay, that he was just getting dinner. That he was in a long line-up, or a traffic jam. I knew I was telling myself these lies so that I wouldn't feel scared or lonely, but I knew that what I made up probably wasn't right. So, there I was taking care of Rukia all day long, worrying about my father the whole time.

It was probably my 100th time looking up at the clock, now, and it was nearing nine thirty pm, and yet, my father still hadn't come back. I just knew something had gone wrong, if that wasn't the case, then I wouldn't know where to think, I was tired of making-up stupid little lies to ease my tired soul. For I knew, that they we're all fake things that I had insanely made-up to fool myself, which of course I could never do. I wasn't that dense.

I decided to sit in the living room, and wait from my father to return from his night out. I always thanked god, for making Rukia, too young to understand what was going on around her, too young to understand the tragedy that was unfolding in front of her every own eyes. I would suffer her pain for her, I wasn't afraid of this suffering and pain, I had decided that I would defend Rukia, take care of her, and be a shield for her, from the horrible truth of living. The pain of living, no, she wouldn't have to suffer what I had suffered. I will endure this insaneness thrown at me from my father, I'll endure anything, if it means a better life, and reality for Rukia. This is how much I care about my sister! I thought in my mind, I will prevail, I thought, this is for Rukia, not me. I must do what I must do, to protect Rukia, from the real pain of living. I faint smile creased my pale face, and my eyes shined for just a minute, until I heard a loud 'SLAM!'

"W….what was that?" I muttered as I went to investigate. This time, I felt Rukia in the living room, to sleep. As a stepped into the outskirts of the living room, I nearly had a heart attack. There, stood no one else, but my father, my eyes were as wide as saucer plates, and my mouth was a gape; he was drenched in a thick layer of rain water, he had big long bags under his eyes, he hat had been ripped almost completely off. His tie was disoriented, and from the angle I was standing from, I could see two packs of cigarettes, and in his right hand, he held two large and empty bottles of beer. I could swear that my eyes grew a size larger, and then I just snapped. Just like that. (like Hinamori. Lolz. Remember that secne?)

"FATHER!!" I screamed right in his face, and starred at him, or rather glared at him. I was now so enraged that I had my fists clenched so tightly that I almost knew that I could be bleeding, but that didn't matter. The matter was that my father was being retarded, by trying to forget about my mother's condition, by getting himself drunk and going back to smoking. It wasn't right, especially with Rukia around. I had a sudden temptation to shove my father right back out the door and lock him out for the rest of the night, but I knew that wasn't right.

"H……Hisana, your mother…..she…….she….she……" he trailed off, into unintelligent words, which could not be understood. I backed away from him, and waved my hand in front of my nose and covered my mouth, yuck, his breath was gross, and he was drunk. I ran back into the living room, and grabbed Rukia off the couch, and just stood there, because I just didn't know what to do. I knew couldn't just stay here, I knew I couldn't hid in my room again, because since my father was drunk, I couldn't just let him rule the house, he'd smash everything in sight. That just wasn't going to happen, so I technically only had one choice- to stay. So, I did. I just stood there, looking dumbfound, but I was actually cooking up a plan, or something to get Rukia and I though tonight. I knew I had to know, what my father was rambling on about, it was important, it was about my mother. Had she finally woken-up?? Was she being detached from the hospital?? I had to know, so maybe we could all live a better life, maybe everything would go back to normal.

It was the early morning, and I had stayed up half the night, to make sure my father didn't anything irrational. In the end, I bound him to a chair in the living room, when he seemed to be sleeping. I fell asleep on the couch, a good twenty feet apart, and Rukia was safely in her crib, back in her room. I had checked up on her a couple of time during the night, and she was thankfully fine.

I slowly walked into the kitchen, to make breakfast for Rukia and I, but when I got there, and opened the fridge, I found that everything was gone, there wasn't anything to eat. I sighed, what was I to do now? There wasn't any food and Rukia was getting hungry. I was hungry too, but I could wait, Rukia on the other hand could not. I looked out of the corner of my eye, my father was still sleeping. I didn't even know if he even deserved to be called a 'father' anymore. I gulped back fear and hesitation, and reached into my 'father's' jacket and grabbed his thick leather wallet. It was full of bills and a couple of coins. I shoved it into my jean pocket and let a small grin crease my sullen face. A couple minutes later, Rukia and I were getting ready to leave this so called 'home' forever. I had packed everything and anything that Rukia and I would and could use. I grabbed our jackets and signed a short note.

The note read:

Dear father:

By the time you read this, Rukia and I shall have left this so called home forever. We will never return here, and I hope you will remember all the good times we had together; for I shall remember them.

Yours truly

Hisana

I then stuck this note onto the kitchen fridge; and promptly left, not wanting to spend another minute in this hell room.

It was still an early Sunday morning, and still none of the shops were open. So Rukia and I stood outside in the rain……the rain, it was falling slowly and softly, nothing more than a shower. I had decided that I would find out for myself what my father had been rambling about, I was going to visit the hospital and find out.


End file.
